i slept through halloween

oh well. i looks like i'll probably go to chruch today... today being a holy day of obligation.

obligation. arent we supposed to be obligated to go to church every weekend? i havent gone in months. i kinda like church, that is, it feels like home.

now i sound religious, which im far from. im not that kind of person. in fact today, the gideon society was on campus.

"would you like a bible?", asked the gideon representative
"no, im wiccan", i replied.

i always wonder where the gideons get their fucking money to put their bibles in every frikkin hotel room in the country. i mean, i should look that shit up in wikipedia.

in anycase, i should probably address my views on religion while no one is watching. i mean, isnt that when people are most truthful? and besides, i havent been religiously invigorated in a while, so my thoughts will be from a far away standpoint.

i was baptized into the Roman Catholic Church in December 1985. the choice was made by my parents (a practice shunned by other christians). i started my Catholic school education in september of 1990. 'religious education' came in the form of "this is our faith" text books, daily prayer, and first friday masses. two good words that can describe my relgious experiences are "blissful" and "blind". i went to church every sunday with my family. and on top of that, people who only went to church on easter and christmas bugged the hell out of me (it still does now, except for the fact that im now one of them).

after graduating from elementary school, i attended imamculate heart high school, a catholic (but we all swear it was more close to pagan) all girls highschool. this is probably where my religious upheaval occured. with the exception of religion two, where we learned about "safe sex" (abstinence) and abortion (we watched the propaganda tape with an opening welcome by charton heston) and contemporary moral issues (rizzo didnt teach me any knowledge or propaganda that had already been forced upon me) religion classes were good.

let me specify that first. any religion class taught by ms. pollia was a good one. had i had ms. knudsen for any class, she'd be on this list too. but alas, no. ms. pollia taught religion in a (at the time) bizarre way. yes, she showed us catholicism and christianity, but she always told us the back story. the back story had so much more meaning. like she said, you cant teach current events without teaching world history before it.

anyways, ms. pollia taught religion in the best way. she didnt pelt us with dogma and facts, she presented us with what was believed and how others interpreted it. we had the decision to believe or not. in experiencing god, she taught us that God can be found everywhere. prayer is not a list of memorized prayer but a conversation with God. sometimes, when we had our 5 mintues of meditation, i found myself. i was able to catch up with everything in my life. in on being catholic, i was able to see the church for what it was, a chuch built by fallible men. all religions are faulty but you have to see through the cracks and be able to see its basic mission. thats probably why im still Catholic. yes, we have some crazy rituals, but thats what keeps us centered. most of the criticisms of the Catholic church have already been addressed by the church in Vatican II. its just up to the whole church itself to catch up.

i stopped going to church when my mom started to leave things in "God's Hands". leaving things in God's hands really means that you're letting go of your issues and allowing them to solve themselves.

yes, the church is a backwards place where gay marriage is prohibited and contraception will get you into hell. i also know that you shouldnt be a selective catholic. but thats what i am, a selective catholic. i believe in God, the trinity, Jesus rising from the tomb, Mary the mother of God. I've read the old testament and the new testamentthe book of revelation. I believe in the basics.

i dont believe that people who have been divorced can't get into heaven. i dont believe that a woman shouldnt not be able to control how many children she wants. i dont believe that you have to be catholic to get into heaven. i believe in karma, the golden rule, and that we have free will. i've read parts of the the qur'an, the vedas, and the pentateuch.

beliefs can change, through life experiences. for example, i used to be an adament pro-lifer. after my own experiences and other friend's experiences, i am pro-choice. if you made a mistake or if someone had violated you, you should be able to fix your life.

marriage is a union between two people who love each other and want to be able to see each other if one of them is in the ER.

in anycase, im not where near the end of my relgious journey in life.