su-su-su-slacking

is it bad that all i want to do all day is sit around with my window's open but have my heater on full blast? is it bad that all i want to do is clean my room but i can never muster enough drive to get up and do it? is it bad that sometimes i just want to smoke a bowl and do nothing for the rest of the day? is it bad that i want this month to be over but i dont want it to be march yet?

i havent showered in a day and a half. and i dont feel like showering any time soon.

i feel like such a hippy with my hair. its fuckin' long.

i bought a shit-load of things online.

i've been sitting here in front of my computer attempting to write something. behind me, im watching tv. there area ton of thoughts in my head but i cant even get it out. for some reason, i've become self conscious about what i write on here. if i type out something happy, i'll feel like im being so fake. if i type something overtly depressing, i'll seem so whiny.

blah. thats depressing, make it stop.

that was december. 2003. why do i still feel this way.