random


peahen: hmf. i'm unimpressed.

he's not my type: he's not mexican

week 9. still not caring. still not taking any initiative.

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sign that i am, indeed, getting older: i think i may have to start wearing my glasses when i drive. jesus christ, is my body starting to degenerate already? fuck dammit.

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10 page paper. due this thursday. only one page done(ish) no, you're crazy.

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ok i'll do it.

notice how i havent changed my mood from ambivalent since july 2004.

danielle: oh my god , you went to st brendans and found a book that you checked out in 2nd grade?
me: hahah yeah
danielle: that must have been a really unpopular book
me: fuck you.

frustrated? lazy? tired? happy?

who knows. i'm still in riverside because i felt like staying and i didnt feel like driving.

i'm leaving tomorrow. i'll be back by sunday afternoon

ok, in truth, i've been doing one of my favoritest past times: blog hopping. digging around in people's lives (or what people like to present to the world) is fun.

the realization that people as cynical as yourself is comforting. the realization that people as materialistic than yourself is comforting. the realization that people are in shittier situations than yourself is comforting.

but,

the realization that people have things that you cant have sucks.

in retrospect, i'm happy that i dont have the things that i want because looking back, i really dont know what i want at all. on top of that, whenever i get things that i want, things tend to turn sour.

i dont even want to think about school
i dont even want to think about my future.

i'm under the impression that way i have been living my life will eventually bulid up and explode in my face.

i'm excited for the future outcome and the predicted abysmal effects.

ortho. tri. cyclen. lo





well, after not being on birth control for a year and half, i'm going back on. for reasons. one) there is no way im getting pregnant any time soon. two) my face will thank me. three) being on birth control means...

i have to quit smoking.

ugh.

life update

1) boyfriendless
2) not boy-less
3) lately, i've been incredibly tired.
4) rome here i come, but what will all the paper work? hmph.
5) my room is clean. amazing.
6) i havent smoked in a while. (good)
7) mmm. procrastination.
8) i'm growing an avocado tree from the pit of my guacamole..
9) i have come to the conclusion that i will never delete this blog (if i can help it)
10) i've gained hella weight. i dont care. i love myself anyways.

semi-glad that i dont feel like being so negative on this blog

who know what tomorrow will bring
maybe sunshine, maybe rain
well as of me i'll wait
maybe it'll bring my love to me, who knows.

from rjd2 smoke and mirrors

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dude. im cleaning my room. 5:21am. wtf.

i will get a job

for the two purposes:

1) money for the fall

2) these shoes

ridiculous amounts of unfinished business

so theres a sprinker outside my apartment that is broken. it spews out huge streams of water at exactly 12:50am every night.

also, there is a large mountain of dirt (probably fertilizer) sitting outside. i kinda want to go sledding on it.

i have to make a decision

although i had a really good weekend and a good quarter in general, i have a weird sense of unease. ok, make that a huge sense of unease. i just wish that i could get a really good solid piece of mind.

boy it sucks to be poor. i really want to buy a pair of shoes.

like, tell me why i really like these stripper shoes:





i know, right? all sorts of hoe status. in anycase, i want them. whens the next half yearly sale?

this entry had no point. whatevs.