frustrated? lazy? tired? happy?

who knows. i'm still in riverside because i felt like staying and i didnt feel like driving.

i'm leaving tomorrow. i'll be back by sunday afternoon

ok, in truth, i've been doing one of my favoritest past times: blog hopping. digging around in people's lives (or what people like to present to the world) is fun.

the realization that people as cynical as yourself is comforting. the realization that people as materialistic than yourself is comforting. the realization that people are in shittier situations than yourself is comforting.

but,

the realization that people have things that you cant have sucks.

in retrospect, i'm happy that i dont have the things that i want because looking back, i really dont know what i want at all. on top of that, whenever i get things that i want, things tend to turn sour.

i dont even want to think about school
i dont even want to think about my future.

i'm under the impression that way i have been living my life will eventually bulid up and explode in my face.

i'm excited for the future outcome and the predicted abysmal effects.